Can i not drive my cunt home
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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