O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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