and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
