can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
