Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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