I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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