i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
