Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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