just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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