so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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