so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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