Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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