South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
