dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
