Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He has the fingertips of a God
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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