I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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