Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
