"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
