We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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