Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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