im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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