So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
