Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
