Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
