so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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