Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we're so committed to being not committed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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