That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
