Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
