and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize