He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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