someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
