We're facebook friends in real life
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
