he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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