So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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