11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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