Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
