As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
