nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
