Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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