I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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