Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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