You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
third nipple confirmed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
