BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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