Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
