Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
