theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just googled if crying burns calories
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
