I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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