i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
