I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
