This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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