Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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