I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
