im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
