Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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