If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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