I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
