It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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