you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
